柳暗花明又一村

I still feel surreal
that you accepted my FB friend request.

我近来在抱怨事事不顺心

五天前Audit成绩公布了

结果我只score 71

没有拿到H1确实让我非常失望

Regardless, 我还是send了一封感谢的email给他

结果,没想到他隔天早上就回复我了

看到这里我的心接近碎了.他说的非常makes sense, but他却没有offer go-dutch的option : ( 然而不死心的我还是继续问他:

最后他只给了我他LinkedIn的contact, 完全没有suggest我在Facebook add他 :'(

够力沮丧
干嘛这么绝情啊
本来已经绝望了的
昨天看到他viewed我的LinkedIn Profile
非常兴奋
然后看到他的Profile上写着他在找着volunteering opportunities
很想recommend一些给他
可是又怕他嫌我多事

今天早上我左思右想
觉得其实自己已经nothing to loss了
可能往后都不会再见到他了
所以就鼓起勇气在Facebook add他
谁知道
他竟然竟然accept我的Friend Request!!!!!!
我之前是真的没有抱有一丝希望说他会accept啊
看了一下他的Friend list
我们只有一个mutual friend
除此之外完全没有一个我认识的同届学生
看来他只接受他认识的人和他想要接受的人
因为我绝对不相信我是他几百个学生里唯一一个sent他friend request的人

下一步要做什么呢?
呵呵我也不清楚
邀他来我的毕业典礼跟我合照?
会不会太唐突叻

I had my final Auditing tutorial

That certainly created everlasting memory.

He looked exceptionally charming on that day.
Fred Perry grey long sleeve check shirt with a pair of black pants instead of his usual casual outfits.

So the tutorial began.
Basically I knew every answer of his question since I spent the whole day before doing the extra readings and completing the tutorial exercise.
Yes that's how much I would be willing to go beyond my standard effort just to impress him.
When he asked if anyone did the tutorial exercises, I nodded then he quickly asked me to answer the first question.
I must admit that what I have done was brilliant because I went a little further than what lecture slides  stated.
While he was impressed, he wanted to check if other students did the preparation work therefore he asked everyone else if they at least looked at the questions.
(Thankfully) No one else had a chance looked at it so he came back to me and there goes our one-to-one. Almost all of my answers were spot-on!
What made me proud of myself was I wasn't stammering at all and was even dare to say he got me wrong :-D
It went so well, and the eye contact simply drove me over the moon!

But I felt blue when he started to wrap up the tutorial.
We will definitely meet again in his consultation but I could possibly stuff it up due to nervousness.
I was thinking whether we can hang out if I score a H1 in Auditing (FYI so far there is only one H1 in my undergraduate).
In fact the tutor-student status no longer bothers me afterall I'm graduating soon, it's the cultural and language difference as well as working background that I'm really care about.
I'm not sure whether I will be too shy to speak if we do hang out.
Let's start with a friendship? I don't even know how to go about forming one.
Perhaps someone can shed some light on this?

Trapped

天
比想象中陷得更快更深

Emailed问他课业上的问题
结果他在前天傍晚回我
我回信道谢说
"Bla Bla Bla.. Definitely vote for you if there's a Best Tutor Award :P"
他昨天8.30am点回复我说
"No problem! Bla bla bla"
然后9am就是我们的tutorial啦
他问我们的第一题是“What is internal control?"
5秒没有人回答
他笑着看着我走近我身边
叫我回答
呵呵一字不漏的模范答案
那笑容真的要让我融化了

可惜后来有两题我自动请缨却答错了
Sigh突然为自己的英文表达水准感到挫败
在他面前我已经紧张到难以呼吸了
还怎样在脑海process正确的答案叻

Tutorial完毕后听到他跟其中一个学生说他今天除了教课就是consultation
不过他的consultation一直没有人去
听到这里你懂我要做什么了吧哈哈

我随便找了一题简短的题目
就这样出席了我在uni 3年以来第一次的consultation
去到那里时没看到他
只看到另一个tutor
她帮我从office叫他出来
看到他时我的心跳加速⏩
我show给他看我的notes
（相信他一定被我的用功吓到了）
基于我赶着上lecture
加上超紧张因为整个consultation room里就只有我们两个
我并非坐在椅子上
而是跪在椅子上LOL
他跟我讲话时我根本不敢看着他
眼神一直徘徊在窗外

Problem solved then ciao
我根本就shy到不懂可以讲什么了

我知道我们不可能
可是怎么办呢
我已经越陷越深了
唯一能让你记住我的方法就是考取H1
让你以我为荣
然后呢？
不知道了。

Kristian.

Just another fantasy love.

I'm starting to find the line between admiration and obsession blurry.

Oh Rachel, can't you just keep your love affairs to yourself?

Eh eh eh I just need a channel to share my feelings as you know it's always tough to convey how you really feel to someone else.

So, who again?

I admire my Auditing Tutor LOL.

I remember when we first met, I was fascinated by how charming he looks. He is turning 24 years old and is a mix of Chinese and probably Spanish. (Yes, I stalked him.)  Having said that, it isn't his appearance that makes me swoon, instead I am attracted by how confident he is on explaining stuffs and how talented he is. Despite being only 2 years elder than me, he has plenty of professional working experience and is currently the senior tutor of 3 Accounting subjects in my uni. WOW.

I believe the best way to attract his attention is concentrate in his tutorial and impress him through answering the questions he raised in class. I had never worked so hard in an Accounting subject before but it is totally worth it, especially when I achieved a score of 38 out of 40 in my mid-semester test which the average score is 29. 

And my heart skipped a beat when he praised me for paying attention on what he said in the class therefore being able to come up with the answer. Such moment is gold.

So admiration or obsession?

WHO CARES? They are miles between us, citizenship, language, culture, circle etc.

Taking this way too far anyway - we are not even friend yet.